Comments on Movies I’ve Added to Facebook

download (1)My Best Fiend (1999)
The heart warming story of a megalomaniacal German director and his schizophrenic muse. Complete with yelling in German, and threatening death on difficult actors. A must see for the whole family.

Grizzly Man (2005)
The heart warming story of a mentally challenged actor and the bears who love, and eventually, eat him. A must see for the whole family.

Last Days (2005)
The heart warming story of a drugged addled rock star and his band of pseudo gay hipsters. A must see for the whole family.

images (1)Milk (2008)
The heart warming story of an eccentric gay city council man who was murdered due to another man’s love of Twinkies. A must see for the whole family.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
The heart warming story of Russell Brand attempting to look human. A must see for the whole family.

002a0065-0000-0000-0000-000000000000_00000065-06d4-0000-0000-000000000000_20130424224142_marky markTed (2012)
The heart warming story of one man’s talking teddy bear and the bloody rampage that follows suit. Starring Marky Mark Wahlberg and the hot girl from That 70s show. A must see for the whole family.

Would You Rather (2013)
The heart warming story of what happened to the guy from Re-Animator. Apparently he holds sadistic dinner parties now, IDK. A must see for those who thought Saw wasn’t classy enough.

Upstream Color (2013)
A heart warming story for people who thought Primer was a comedy. Look out for a very special guest appearance from none other than Mickey Rooney. A must see for the whole family.

images (2)The Graduate (1967)
The heart warming story of an unassuming Jewish fellow and his campaign of terror on a local family. A must see for the whole family.

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
As you can see, I’ve committed fully to this.

katherine-heigl-eating-a-hostess-cupcakeKnocked Up (2007)
The heart warming story of going bareback with Katherine Heigl. A must see for the whole family.

Sleepy Hollow (1999)
The heart warming story of the last good movie Tim Burton ever made. A must see for the whole family.

download (3)American Psycho (2000)
The heart warming story of misunderstood millionaire and the women that love him. Also, chainsaws. A must see for the Manson family.

American Beauty (1999)
A tender bio-pic detailing how Mena Suvari turned Kevin Spacey gay. A must see for the whole family.

download (2)A Beautiful Mind (2001)
The heart warming story of Russell Crowe acting the fuck out of some shit. A must see for the whole family.

Back to the Future Trilogy (1985 – 1990)
The heart wrenching story of how time traveling causes Parkinson’s disease. A must see for the whole family.

images (3)Natural Born Killers (1994)
The heart warming story of love in the time of smash cuts and 90s techno music. A must see for the whole family.

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